Up in the Frozen North

I am having a lot of fun in Sweden, but there have been more than a few WTF moments.

YOU MUST TRAIN HARDER! Haiku:

If I were bad man
you would be raped now! You must
learn how to fight men.


I think I'll pass on that second date haiku:

I hate Amur-cans,
but can I walk you home? You
seem nice enough.


Sad Times Haiku:

I have known you a
week, and already you rush.
Stop hurting yourself.