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Right to Privacy

Does not exist in a crowded dance club. Sorry young lovers, but since you are making a huge fuss over this, I have no choice but to post it!



Common Misconception Haiku:

Privacy is not
a right, contrary to what
you may have been taught.

Food for Thought...thanks Kraft!

This is beginning to happen more than I care to admit. I am in a hurry, grab something at the butik or cafe to eat, look at the package, and find out that it's actually a product of a business that I'm boycotting, artfully disguised in European branding.

You Can't Get These Chocolates in America! Haiku:

Oh, Marabou! So
elegant and tasty. 'Cause
you're owned by Kraft Foods!



My Zoega coffee is a product of Nestlé :(

Continent Envy

I hear so much shit about America every day, and there are really great things over here in Europe, yet, somehow, as much as I want to forget about home, there are so many things I want to return to. Mostly the music scene and stable employment, but there are other things.

What I Want in Life Haiku:

To live with Michael,
get a cat, and a brand new
Kitchen-aid Mixer.


Sounds shallow, but I like to keep it simple.

Juxtaposition

The population of Sweden is equal to the population of New Jersey. Food for thought.

Striking Resemblance Haiku:

Jersey Shore, hot dogs
fake tans, Italians. Sweden:
also has this shit.

The Great Escape

Breathing Room Haiku:

Miles from home I still
feel trapped, until I play a
sad song on my bass.

Freedom isn't found
on the open road, but in
your own selfish heart.

Only nine million
people. Far from crowded, but
trapped in stubborn thoughts.

Lyndon Bunghole Johnson

Pants Alteration Haiku:

Gimme a couple
more inches for my balls. More
space at the bunghole.


http://www.whitehousetapes.net/clips/1964_0809_lbj_haggar/

Thanks for the link, Anthony

My new BFF

I think I just met my soul mate at the bus stop downtown.

My Neighbor Haiku:

Tonari no, you
in your totoro hat, Please
can we be friends now?


Unfortunately, I have no photo evidence, because I thought it would be in poor taste to photograph this amazing woman. I will attempt to describe her in words. Totoro hat, pink faux fur jacket, dreadlocks, carrying a stuffed squirrel.

Excuses excuses

True, I am the youngest person in Erasmus Linköping right now, so the fuck what. Life experience and work ethic can easily fill in the gap.


Your philosophy on philosophy homework haiku:

You don't do your work
since your philosophy is
that nothing matters.

You don't have a job
you are so dependent, yet,
wiser than I am.

What the fuck have you
done? Drawing tits does not make
you a great artist.

Do not insult me.
I have been kind to you in
spite of your poor taste.

BLIND

Pink/Punk eye...

Irritation Haiku:

My eyes are not the
only things that you upset.
You make me feel trapped.


Cigarettes, Dust, Cramped spaces, Dirty Sheets, Poor Ventilation. Not as sexy as they sound.They cause eye infections when combined with contact lenses :(

Up in the Frozen North

I am having a lot of fun in Sweden, but there have been more than a few WTF moments.

YOU MUST TRAIN HARDER! Haiku:

If I were bad man
you would be raped now! You must
learn how to fight men.


I think I'll pass on that second date haiku:

I hate Amur-cans,
but can I walk you home? You
seem nice enough.


Sad Times Haiku:

I have known you a
week, and already you rush.
Stop hurting yourself.

Most Eventful Time of the Week

Just watched MTV True Life "I panic" about young people who deal with panic attacks.

Finally Landed a Job Haiku:

"No, I am not a
stripper! I am a go-go
dancer! Get it right!"

Apparently that was a good job for her. She never panicked once. My kind of woman.

Um, hey!

So I know that it's been a ridiculously long time. Oops!

I guess I didn't get the memo haiku:

If you smoke pot, it
is mandatory that
you like Bob Marley.

Guess what? Bob Marley hated the gays.

It's been awhile...

I think I have finally found one of the main conflicts I have with organized religion and my own experience with it.

Your Body is a Temple Haiku:

If your body is
a temple, stop eating high
fructose corn syrup!

When you stop doing
this, maybe I'll stop thinking
with my clitoris.

Apparently we always want others to wait

According to a sickening abstinence commercial I heard in the other room blasting from ABC family. The voice of a teen (or tween? I dunno), was saying "you don't have to go into detail about sex, don't be embarassed, you don't have to tell us about the 'parts' just tell us what you want us to do. Tell us to wait."

I'm not saying that I think that every teen should get laid, and that every one is ready, but that ad accomplished nothing!! It also sent a clear message that our "parts" are not important. Yet, masturbation is an important tool in discovering ones own sexuality and it can pave the way to a healthy sexual lifestyle (and conversely, an unhealthy one). Most men discover this, and use it to their advantage, but many women are left behind. We have nothing external like an erection to tell us when to go. If we are told that our "parts" aren't important, we are less likely to explore them in a healthy way.


What Do You Want? Haiku:

What are we waiting
for? If we never marry,
our parts are useless.

About to fall off of the fence

In the past couple of years I've been questioning the existence of God (or god) and I'm just not so sure anymore. First I thought, okay so Christianity is complete bullshit, but some higher power exists. Now I don't even know about that. I feel like a kid in the closet who must first come out as bi, because my family has scared me into thinking I'll go to hell.


Church Service Haiku

Does God want to hear
a bunch of white people sing
badly up to him?


Church Formalities Haiku

A human being
has no right to forgive me
"in the name of God."

Um, fighting an uphill battle?

Messed Up Priorities Haiku:

What is the point of
kid-proofing the TV when
you have internet?


Jus' Sayin'

Hey there Obama

I see you're working hard on the economy, healthcare, etc, but what about another promise you made to your followers? A promise that would take seconds to fulfill?

DADT Haiku:

You didn't ask, but
we'll tell you: you are being
a prejudiced ass.

Wanna stimulate
the economy? Allow
gays to get married.

Hey Kids, Why you be so fat?

Your parents are rich, you have no excuse. People in poverty do what they can to survive, meaning, high fructose corn syrup and preservatives in food, resulting in obesity. Yet, every single child I saw at a private swimming pool (at a club consisting of upper middle class families) was overweight, excluding two girls. There were about 30 kids at the pool.


Rich Parents: WTF? Haiku

You're spoiling your kids
with food that repays them with
a low self-esteem.

You have insurance,
you have money. Why can't you
use some prevention?

The Quest for Social Control

Serving food to middle aged men is a fast way to receive what are supposed to be compliments. So is simply putting up with your parents' perverted friend when he's had too much to drink. I don't know why these men think they own female sexuality, and I am even more confused as to why so many women put up with it.


Unsettling Haiku:

It's tragic when an
older man takes advantage
of a younger girl.

Yet, when an older
woman does the same to a
boy, the boy's a stud.

I don't want guys in
garments* telling me what to
do with my body.

I hate when you talk
about my body like it's
public property.

"You should model!" "You
shouldn't eat that!" "You're like a
centerfold!" FUCK YOU!


* Mormon Undergarments. In reference to Mormons taking a stand on "immoral" happenings and using political muscle to prevent loving couples from marriage.

And just so you know, all of the phrases in quotation marks have been said to me by IHOP customers.