Cocktail?

I've never been a huge fan of cocktail sauce, and as I was stocking some at work today, I had some thoughts on it.

Cocktail Sauce Haiku:

Who would have thought that
the world's best things combined makes
a terrible sauce?


Who doesn't love cock? I'd have to say that I'm a big fan, whether it's on a man, or in chicken form, both things are great. And who doesn't love getting tail? Cock and tail should go hand in hand, yet, they make a terrible sauce.

Feliz Cinco De Mayo!

A Nation of Immigrants Haiku:

How are Mexican
Immigrants different from
your own ancestors?


Another Overheard Haiku:

Somehow I knew that
today's Cinco de Mayo.
I don't know why though.


This bitch in the kitchen didn't understand that "Cinco de Mayo" means "The fifth of May." I never took Spanish, but Christ! Isn't that common sense?

In the interest of the environment

And my midterm on International Trade and the Environment...

Why Green is an Empty Term Haiku:

Businesses still
aren't green, 'cause colleges
teach us to green wash!!!

Swine Flu Haiku:

I ate purell for
breakfast on account of the
swine flu pandemic.

The C word is totally PM...

Cunt Haiku:

Use of the C word
can empower women by
showing their bad traits.

Women misbehave
in non-sexual ways. We
must acknowledge this.

Men can be bastards;
Women are capable of
terrible things too.


Nobody can argue about modernity Haiku:

If something can't be
clearly defined, just label
it as post-modern.

Hot Pants Explosion

Yesterday I bought some sparkly gold booty shorts, and I am excited to put them to good use.

Hot Pants Haiku:

When used properly,
hotpants can improve any
tough situation.


"In order to have a friend, you must be one" Haiku:

Or as Cami says
it: "You gotta put out if
you wanna get some."


CJ, if you want a friendship bracelet, you'd best put out!

Possible Future Purchase (NSFW)

I saw this fabulous dress on American Apparel.net, and based on the reviews, I just may HAVE to buy it!


Sexy Dress Haiku:

"I randomly showed
up in this at my boyfriend's
house. He went crazy!"


Maybe $42 is too much for this...

Sorry

I've been pretty busy. I'll try not to be a bitch and post more often.

CJ nooo!!! Haiku:

Somehow I knew that
you would be infected by
zombies. I'm so sad.


Age is Just a Number Haiku:

Hey miss, you wanna
see how a guy my age has
fun? Young sexy girls!

(This man proceeded to show me his pictures from the ComiCon. He was with some seventeen year old Wonderwomen.)


Waiting for the 48 Haiku:

I just got kick out
of my apartment. Can I
move in with you, babe?