I don't even know what to say about this

Red Square 10/30 haiku

A man lit himself 

on fire and died and we are

all in complete shock.

This was crazy. I don't even know what to say about it.

I'm watching teevee!!!

TLC Haiku

Swallowed too many

pills. Now I'm on TLC.

I wish I had died.

Banking on a Myth

Today I learned that my CHID professor doesn't know doodley-squat about Martin Luther. He also kept saying "Diet of Worms" in a way that sounded like a real worm diet (like food), instead of diet as in "deity". Don't get me wrong, I love my professor to death, but if he would have taken a few hours to simply watch the movie "Luther," he would have gotten all of the same information (and more accurate information) along with pronunciations. So naturally, I tuned out after awhile, and worked on haiku...

Sparrow Haiku

This small flightless bird

occupies the ankles and

limbs of most hipsters.

Thomas Hobbes Haiku

Poor Thomas Hobbes was 

associated with the

Divine Right of Kings.

Feminist Response to the Magna Carta Haiku

This sacred text gave

rights to every body.

Well, except the chicks.

Uncertainty Haiku

I wish I knew where

I was going in life. I 

feel like such a prick.

Procrastinating yet again...

Haiku are way more fun than the Leviathan. This time I was inspired by my neighbor's bad taste in Halloween decorations and memories of my brother in his gamer days.

Nightmare Before Christmas Haiku

Tim Burton made a 

monster in the form of fat

nerds wearing top hats.

The Most Challenging Quest for a WoW addict Haiku

You may complete quests

and reach level seventy, 

but you won't get laid.

I Need Practice Haiku

I never thought that

smoking pipe tobacco would

be that difficult.

For Shiv

Residential Advisor Haiku

It is true that Shiv 

waxes his eyebrows, but he

knows how to party.

More of the same

I don't know how this girl has the ability to be everywhere I don't want her to be. I've begun to just accept it and find it funny. Someone on my floor started a list of her dumbest quotes, and they might make a show on youtube about her. I wasn't going to write anymore haiku about her, but something that she said last night, and something that she wrote on our RA's whiteboard (apparently she's a singer AND a writer) inspired me.

"I love hookah" haiku

I don't smoke that much

because I'm a singer. I'm

really an artist.

And in honor of Columbus day...

Columbus' sexual ambiguity haiku

Joseph Smith's muse had

a strange obsession with the 

tropical parrots.

In honor of bad taste...

Someone on my floor has horrible taste haiku

I found Boys II Men

and Aaron Carter on one 

iTunes library.

I apologize in advance...

If you do not live in Mercer 3W, you will not understand these. If this is the case, imagine a really really whiny obnoxious girl who thinks that being liberal and drinking tea is the key to popularity, and right now she's going through an "I hate my parents" phase. She embarrasses me, because I am liberal and like weird stuff, but I try not to be annoying and I definitely don't impose on others' beliefs.

To my floor mates, I hope these entertain you, at least mildly.

"As a writer..." haiku

Constant chatter of 

sacred coffee rituals.

Pssh, you drink Folgers! 

"I like to be earth friendly" haiku

Take the stairs when your

friend takes the elevator

'cause you love the earth.

"We should form a bluegrass band" haiku

Let's form a bluegrass 

band. I'm so tired of the

shitty mainstream stuff.

Last straw haiku

Stop talking. Your false

sense of non-conformity

is so annoying.

In honor of a good friend...

I miss my good friend Shane Geiger terribly, so I thought I would post a haiku in honor of him. If you don't know Shane, you should meet him now while you still can, because someday, he will be famous runner and won't have time for you.

Shane Geiger Haiku

Maybe someday the

world's fastest human will not

be from Jamaica.

Other haiku of today:

Hipster Haiku

Cook up some couscous,

spread social awareness, and

never take showers.

Sarah Palin Haiku

Our dear hockey mom

can see Russia from her house.

Real experience.

Overheard Haiku

Cole's friend and I overheard a middle-aged man wearing shorts and suspenders say something really funny that happened to be a haiku.

...so I put down two

Cayenne peppers. It was good,

yeah it was real good.

What a day

I thought of a few new haiku today and decided that I should start posting them somewhere.

Seattle Haiku

I came here looking

for love, and all you offered

was a giant troll.

Surprise Haiku

I pick you up and

squeeze you. What a big cat! Oh

wait, it's a raccoon.

John Edwards Haiku

Expensive haircut

commits adultry with less

style than Bill Clinton.