Stuck in a Trailer Park

I went to Katie and Christy's today, only to get stuck driving out of their street. Some grandma was heckling me. It was pretty embarrassing.

Stuck in a Trailer park Haiku

Get stuck in slush and
get heckled. You decide to
park at Taco Bell.

Merry Christmas

My family has traditionally celebrated Christmas Eve more than Christmas Day. We always open our presents today, and we usually have family around us, and we don't do anything for Christmas Day. This year with the snow, we are staying home, not because we can't get to Astoria, but because my mom really really doesn't want to have to deal with her mom and sister (and nephew!). So all day I will be playing with my cat and shamelessly downloading music. Here's some haiku for all of you.

Snowpocalypse Haiku Part ?

Christmas is cancelled.
The roads are..uhhh...dangerous?
So let's just stay home.


Christmas: According to Wikipedia Haiku

A holiday of
gifts, worship, and a made-up
man named Santa Claus.

For old time's sake

Sorry I haven't been updating, I've been busy being snowed in and working hard at the hop. During these past couple of days, I have been reminded of the pain of changing out the syrups, the fury of angry customers, and the joy of winking at old people.

IHOP Haiku (number one million)

Sorry about the
omelet you rude, soulless,
fat pieces of trash.


Snopocalypse Haiku

"These gloves were the last
pair of women's gloves at the
local Fred Meyer!!!"

Snopocalypse Haiku II

"You could get frostbite
In twenty degree weather
so please stay indoors!"

Snopocalypse Haiku III (12/20/08)

We reached IHOP at
o-seven hundred hours.
It was abandoned.


Hopefully this weather won't last much longer. There are some people I would really like to see before I head back to Seattle. Merry Christmahanukkwanzikuh!

Almost Forgot

To add what I overheard in the mall yesterday. A lot of people talked to me at the mall, but I overheard some woman say this on the phone in Macy's.

Overheard in the Mall Haiku

The most spiritual
thing that a Christian can do
is to take a nap.


I'm getting the feeling that she thinks meditating is just napping. I wonder how Buddhists would feel about this...

I guess I have to...

From obnoxious Mormons in my classes, to Southpark episodes, this phenomenon has interrupted my peaceful life. I thought I could ignore it, and in time, it would pass. This morning, it was on AM Northwest. At that moment, I knew I could no longer escape...


Twilight Haiku

Silly teen vampires
and sexual tension is
what this country craves.

Blizzzzard

Since it is currently snowing the annual three whopping inches of snow, my parents decided to watch local news all day. I visited a friend for her birthday, and my mom called me, freaking out that the power was out and she couldn't watch local news. It was only out for about an hour and a half, but my parents are still freaking out pretty bad. My dad was scared that he would miss 60 minutes.


Local News Haiku

Don't go outside! It's
snowing and your face could get
frostbite if you do.


No joke, they talked about frostbite in twenty degree weather on the news. At that point I had to get out of the house.

Ugh

Tonight is my dad's 50th birthday party. I need to find a way out of the house to avoid the countless middle aged drunks who will ask me about school. Also, I am getting really fed up with the music that is playing on the stereo system right now.

Bad Musical Taste Haiku

I am already
being tortured with Christmas tunes,
why Jimmy Buffet?

Interesting moment in time

As I was driving downtown earlier this evening (or technically, morning), these guys who had to be at least thirty were driving an escalade, and were at an intersection by me. The indicated that they wanted me to roll down my window, so I did, and they said that they really wanted to party with me. They were probably pretty drunk.

Drunken Request Haiku

Hey whatcha doin?
You should come in here and smoke
some dank with us, now!


Needless to say, I did not take them up on that offer, but I appreciate them for considering me. I hope they had a good time, and they aren't hurt now. They were from California (unless the SUV was stolen), so they may not be familiar with the area...

I'm "home"

I'm back in Camas for about a month. I get to return to the joys of IHOP, my fat yet adorable cat, and Portland, though I no longer feel comfortable sleeping in my own room. My dad has been driving the Taurus, and he left a ton of middle-aged-man garbage in there. I spent three hours cleaning it out today.

Middle-aged-man Garbage Haiku

It took me three hours
to sift through fast food garbage
and numerous hats.


IHOP Remodel Haiku

Trying to fix up
IHOP is much like putting
lipstick on a pig.

I'm so Productive

On this paper of mine about "the other" and political correctness or whatever. Based on the day's events (I'll spare you the details), I thought of a new haiku!

Thigh fucking haiku

You proceed to fuck
the shit out of her thighs. Used
mostly by Mormons.

I'm back

NaNoWriMo has officially been over for 5 days, so I can get back to writing some juicy haiku. Currently I am sitting in the lounge with my school chums Isaiah, Michael, and Linden, and they are watching Mortal Kombat II. Linden and I are confused by this film.

Mortal Kombat II Haiku

Shao Kahn is being a
dick and just wants to fucking
annihilate earth.