Thursday, February 25, 2010

I have moved...

to Tumblr! follow me there!


http://emilythehaikubot.tumblr.com/


Thursday, February 18, 2010

Right to Privacy

Does not exist in a crowded dance club. Sorry young lovers, but since you are making a huge fuss over this, I have no choice but to post it!



Common Misconception Haiku:

Privacy is not
a right, contrary to what
you may have been taught.




Food for Thought...thanks Kraft!

This is beginning to happen more than I care to admit. I am in a hurry, grab something at the butik or cafe to eat, look at the package, and find out that it's actually a product of a business that I'm boycotting, artfully disguised in European branding.

You Can't Get These Chocolates in America! Haiku:

Oh, Marabou! So
elegant and tasty. 'Cause
you're owned by Kraft Foods!



My Zoega coffee is a product of Nestlé :(

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Continent Envy

I hear so much shit about America every day, and there are really great things over here in Europe, yet, somehow, as much as I want to forget about home, there are so many things I want to return to. Mostly the music scene and stable employment, but there are other things.

What I Want in Life Haiku:

To live with Michael,
get a cat, and a brand new
Kitchen-aid Mixer.


Sounds shallow, but I like to keep it simple.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Juxtaposition

The population of Sweden is equal to the population of New Jersey. Food for thought.

Striking Resemblance Haiku:

Jersey Shore, hot dogs
fake tans, Italians. Sweden:
also has this shit.

The Great Escape

Breathing Room Haiku:

Miles from home I still
feel trapped, until I play a
sad song on my bass.

Freedom isn't found
on the open road, but in
your own selfish heart.

Only nine million
people. Far from crowded, but
trapped in stubborn thoughts.

Lyndon Bunghole Johnson

Pants Alteration Haiku:

Gimme a couple
more inches for my balls. More
space at the bunghole.


http://www.whitehousetapes.net/clips/1964_0809_lbj_haggar/

Thanks for the link, Anthony

Saturday, February 6, 2010

My new BFF

I think I just met my soul mate at the bus stop downtown.

My Neighbor Haiku:

Tonari no, you
in your totoro hat, Please
can we be friends now?


Unfortunately, I have no photo evidence, because I thought it would be in poor taste to photograph this amazing woman. I will attempt to describe her in words. Totoro hat, pink faux fur jacket, dreadlocks, carrying a stuffed squirrel.

Excuses excuses

True, I am the youngest person in Erasmus Linköping right now, so the fuck what. Life experience and work ethic can easily fill in the gap.


Your philosophy on philosophy homework haiku:

You don't do your work
since your philosophy is
that nothing matters.

You don't have a job
you are so dependent, yet,
wiser than I am.

What the fuck have you
done? Drawing tits does not make
you a great artist.

Do not insult me.
I have been kind to you in
spite of your poor taste.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

BLIND

Pink/Punk eye...

Irritation Haiku:

My eyes are not the
only things that you upset.
You make me feel trapped.


Cigarettes, Dust, Cramped spaces, Dirty Sheets, Poor Ventilation. Not as sexy as they sound.They cause eye infections when combined with contact lenses :(

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Up in the Frozen North

I am having a lot of fun in Sweden, but there have been more than a few WTF moments.

YOU MUST TRAIN HARDER! Haiku:

If I were bad man
you would be raped now! You must
learn how to fight men.


I think I'll pass on that second date haiku:

I hate Amur-cans,
but can I walk you home? You
seem nice enough.


Sad Times Haiku:

I have known you a
week, and already you rush.
Stop hurting yourself.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Most Eventful Time of the Week

Just watched MTV True Life "I panic" about young people who deal with panic attacks.

Finally Landed a Job Haiku:

"No, I am not a
stripper! I am a go-go
dancer! Get it right!"

Apparently that was a good job for her. She never panicked once. My kind of woman.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Um, hey!

So I know that it's been a ridiculously long time. Oops!

I guess I didn't get the memo haiku:

If you smoke pot, it
is mandatory that
you like Bob Marley.

Guess what? Bob Marley hated the gays.