Pissed off a li'l bit

Set them free Haiku:

If parents do not
learn to let their children do,
then they never will.

These children from those
parents will place a burden
on other people.




I have been reinstated to my role of chauffeur. What a warm welcome back. Not.

International House of Pillowfights

How I wish this accurately described my work environment. Today I wasn't all there, too much Benedryl, and too many old people.

Where's My 'Slaw? Haiku:

What the hell? This was
not in a basket in the
picture, stupid bitch!

In the picture it
is on a plate and comes with
coleslaw. FIX IT NOW!

International House of Party

Spencer renamed IHOP. Obviously IHOP is a party compared to the Claim Jumper.


Small Differences Haiku:

Today I noticed
that people drank water, not
juice. Thanks, recession!


But it could be worse Haiku:

"Drink diet coke since
you will eat some sugar. You
are on a diet."

The latter was said by an obese Hispanic mother to her chubby, twelve year old daughter, who was covered in plague-like acne, wearing fake nails with rhinestones. She had a terrible lack of self confidence. Maybe they should drink water.

Another Overheard Haiku

Well, maybe not verbatim, but I basically heard this (or the gist of it) in the CHS women's bathroom during intermission.

Faded Glory Overheard Haiku:

"I was just like that
girl on stage! Always the lead!
Then I was famous!"


(A vain middle aged woman telling her daughter about her high school days in response to her daughter saying that the girl on stage was "really cool")

Sold Out

Today has been a franchise-filled day. I ate lunch at Red Robin, my father drove us 200 feet to IKEA, then we went to Borders book store, which had two GIANT book displays, cashing out on two major motion pictures: Twilight, and Watchmen. Disgusting!

Sold Out Haiku:

Consistency is
key; experience here what
you would anywhere.

Burnt burger? We can
solve that with a gift card. Thanks
for your business.

Oh yeah, watchmen, that's
like spiderman right? I like
superhero stuff.

I lost ten pounds. What?
Walk to IKEA? Don't be
so ridiculous.

Disgusting!

Apparently I'm completely disgusting. Sorry folks, but a few cruel words are not going to keep me from being disgusting, in fact, quite the contrary. The more I hear the word "disgusting" tossed around about my lovelife, the more it encourages me to "disgust" you.

"What's that noise?" Haiku:

If I have to hear
your shitty music, you have
to hear my music.

Overqualified

I caved in. I'll be working at the International House of Pancakes on N. Aurora starting next quarter. This IHOP is much more ghetto than either of the stores in Vancouver; even worse than the IHOP on NE 82nd in Portland. Nonetheless, I'm slightly excited to begin working. There will be much more haiku material from this job, I promise you.

IHOP Qualifications Haiku:

Hopeful assistant
managers wear unicorn
socks, jeans, and old vans.


Waiting for the 358 Haiku:

I'm homeless. The name's
Lee, but I go by Zippah!
Like your pants zippah!

Huh

Today I ate some
yakisoba on a bench.
Attracted the birds.



And a couple of squirrels.... Michael posed an important question earlier today.

Thought provoking haiku:

You said to me: I
wonder if crows make good pets
'cause they're so damn cute!

Now I'm curious!

Coincidence?

Big Fucking Coincidence Haiku:

Suddenly it's cool
to read comics books? Are ad
campaigns behind this?


You answer no. Hmmmmm.....

Juxtaposition

As I actually spend time in my dorm room for what feels like the first time since I moved in, I glance over to my roommate's desk and compare what she has to what I have. Upon walking into the room and comparing sides, you would see that I definitely have better fashion sense and I enjoy cooking and playing guitar, but when you look at our desks, you may think that I am actually retarded. She has a chemistry book while I have a giant Winnie-the-Pooh book. She has chemistry goggles and textbooks galore while I just have perfume and a jewelry box among other trash. I promise you, I am not a compete idiot.

Juxtaposition Haiku

I may not ever
take science or math, but at
least I have a soul.


Smart Wool Haiku

Smart wool socks can be
worn for multiple days. That
doesn't mean they should.


Acceptance Haiku

It hurts to see that
what you thought of as your own
isn't really yours.