National Enemies

Eaters' Remorse Haiku:

Forget sex and drugs!
We're killing ourselves with high
fructose corn syrup!


My Tribute to MJ Haiku:

Celebrity god
and most loved pervert makes a
comeback by dying.


Termae Haiku:

One of these days, you
really ought to be jailed for
statutory rape.

Robots≠Men

True, robots are awesome. I'm a life-long robot supporter. I use the u-scan at grocery stores, I could only read digital clocks until third grade, and I am the proud owner of two vibrators. Robots are responsible for much of my happiness. BUT they aren't everything, unfortunately.

In Need of Something More Haiku:

My robots make me
feel good, but would be better
with complete control.

That's why I still like
the human variety
to take all control.



However, I would totally dump Michael for Asimo.

Hawaiian Pancakes at IHOP!

OMG WE GET TO WEAR HAWAIIAN SHIRTZ!!!

That Guy With the Hawaiian Shirt Haiku:

He's chill enough to
eat PB&J with the
crust, but just this once.


Hawaiian Pancakes Haiku:

How can IHOP be
any tackier? The staff
wears Hawaiian Shirts.



I am not happy about this. I guess I'll get something from Goodwill and be super pissed off all the time.

Thinking

I don't want that kind of shotgun haiku:

I'm so sorry you
had to be a product of
your environment.

This is easy to
prevent. I have no right to
tell you how you feel.

BUT don't pretend that
you made a mistake. You could
have earned a degree.

Shotgun weddings are
a sign that we need better
sex education.



I don't even know this girl too well, but I do know that it would suck if I got knocked up right now.

It's that time of year...

that the fellas start wearing their jean shorts! Unless you can find the perfect wash and cut for you, this is a fashion no-no. I can't tell you how many horrible jorts I saw on campus today. Don't let this happen to you!






Jorts Haiku:

I.
Spring turns to summer
and what do I see? Awkward
men in awkward shorts.

II.
Hey man, you can't pull
off those shorts. You should let me
pull them off for you...